Warrior Princess

It’s been awhile and I’ll try to explain. A few months ago I slipped, or was pushed or maybe I just jumped into this dark hole. I’m not really sure how I ended up there which is the scary part.

Try as I may, I just couldn’t pull myself out. Emotionally I was a wreak. I must admit at times I didn’t feel any hope. People would ask “are you alright” or “what’s wrong” and I just wanted to scream but the scream would get stuck in my throat. Thank God! I mean what would they have thought if I had started screaming?

If you have never been in that place, I hope you never are. If you have been then you know what I am talking about.

This past weekend Marc was at the Walk to Emmaus for 3 days. I do not like being home by myself so I spent lots of time in a Bible study I had started a few weeks ago. I shouldn’t be but I am so amazed at God’s timing. The words spoke to me BIG TIME. I didn’t sleep for 2 days because I just couldn’t put it down.

So what did I learn…I learned that even though I had given up on myself, God hadn’t given up on me. I was just one brave decision away from an important turn in the path I was on. God showed me I had to take responsibility and just taking responsibility was not enough but I had to take hold of the reins and get prepared physically too.

I must admit, I am fearful that I will fail again for the 100th time and of the hard work that becoming healthy takes. Sometimes I think that it will kill me but then again, it occurs to me that to stand by and do nothing is to be dead already…..”as painful as the process may be, that which shatters our superficiality also shatters the fetters of our fragility and frees us to walk with dignity and might to our destinies. We are not the fragile flowers we’ve considered ourselves to be. We, like Esther, are the Warrior Princess’s of God.”

I love that I am a Warrior Princess of God…..love it, love it, love it

Keep Walking with Jesus