Thursday, September 27, 2012

Who am I

FYI---this was written in my IPhone so I am sure there are mistakes!!! It has been a long time since I have written on my blog! Lots have happened since my last post...deaths of family and friends, marriage of my children, the birth of two grandchildren...I could go on and on but that's for another time. Today I want to write about my journey this week with my brother, Dave. He is on week one of his second session of chemo and radiation treatments. He has to stay in Indy during the week. I was blessed and honored to be the first one to spend the week with him. We have an apartment through Fair Haven ( more about them at a later date) next to IU Med. which makes our trips back and forth each day a breeze even for me. Dave probably would disagree with that last statement! Our first day here was overwhelming and we had trouble finding the Infusion Department. Ninety-nine percent of the time most people are very helpful. They usually ask before you have time to ask them for help. We had finally found what we thought was the correct elevator ( if you have ever been there you would understand that) and got in with two other people-a RN (Tina) who had her lunch in hand and a person with a name tag that said "Chaplin". As the elevator stared up my brother told the Chaplin he was there for his first chemo treatment and was wondering if this was the right elevator. All Mr Chaplin said was "no". There was an awkward silence until Tina said "no you are not but I will take you there. She went back to the main floor and across to the other side of the hospital to the correct elevator, rode with us to the second floor and took us to the infusion department. She told my brother good luck and we told her how much we appreciated her help and she went on her way. By the time Dave was taken back and I was in the waiting room all alone is when I lost it. The story of the Good Samaritan keep coming to mind (Luke 10:25-37) and hasn't left my mind all week. Today I read the passage again. I have to ask myself this: how many times have I been the Priest or the Levite ( the Chaplin)in the story. How many times had I been walking down the road and passed on the other side. I shutter to think how many times I did it knowingly or because I was just in my own world and wasn't aware that someone needed help. Lord forgive my eyes and heart to the people that are around me that need help. Help me not take for granted the opportunities that are placed before me. Father, I pray that you would give me a heart full of compassion. A heart like Jesus has for people. Remind me how much smiles, the hello how are you from many, the help from lots of people meant to me this week! Help me not walk on the other side because of fear or because I am to busy. God bless the Tina's of this world as we run this race...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

What will it matter?

For many years I have struggle with this stronghold with food. I have been on so many "diets" that I have lost count. A few months ago I was doing so good at watching what I ate and exercising. But then it was Kristen's graduation, and then Mother's day and then Memorial day and get the picture. My thinking was "one bite" won't hurt. Right? "One bite" will satisfy my cravings and then I'll get right back on the "wagon".

Let me remind you (and me) what one little bite cost this woman in Genesis 3.....
1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" 2 The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'" 4 "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

9 But the Lord God called to the man, "Where are you?" 10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" 12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. 15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."

16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."

20 Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.

21 The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.

22 And the Lord God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever." 23 So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. 24 After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

So I must ask myself...what is the "one bite" costing me? Is this "one bite" worth it? I know what the "one bite" is costing me here on this earth but what is it costing me in the heavenly realms?

I know that this is not only a physical battle but it is just as much a spiritual one. I don't want to be held hostage by food any more and the guilt that comes with that. I want to be totally satisfied with the healthy foods that God has provided for me and not with the world's processed foods that are so high in sugar content. Father, may my cravings for these high sugar processed foods turn to cravings for you and your ways. Help me to remember that just "one bite" can cost me everything!

Running the Race

Monday, March 30, 2009


This was part of my morning Bible Study....

"We who call Christ Savior have the right to assemble in His mighty name. (Hebrews 10:24-25) We are the blood-brought, Spirit-caught church of God and the gates of hell cannot prevail against us. The hordes of darkness have no greater agenda than the widespread destruction of Christ's bride and 'so much the more' as His return draws near. Satan is furious because he knows his time is short(Rev. 12:12).

Some of us with little previous battle experience have no idea why God is allowing us to go through such difficult times in a place we thought was His will. He's trying to make warriors out of us, Girlfriend! Rise to the occasion! But we aren't meant to fight unseen forces alone. You and I have the God-given right to lock arms with our sisters and brothers in Christ and defend ourselves with the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith. Here's the best part: When we do, we are guaranteed the victory. I said guaranteed.

If you fully obey the Lord your God....the Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at your from one direction but flee from you in seven (Deut. 28: 1 & 7)."

If you have never studied Esther you should!!!!!

As Christians we shouldn't be trying to fight our battles by ourselves. I ask you (and myself) if you are trying to fight them by yourself "how is that working for you?" I can assure you probably not very well. But when we allow others to lock arms with us only then can we defend ourselves and have the victory God has guaranteed.

So I ask you (and myself) what battles are you trying to fight by yourself? Is it like me, my food issue? Or maybe it's with your children or spouse. Or maybe it's with gossip. Or maybe it's with ______________. I'll let you fill in the blank. It is time for all Christians to give up on their own agenda's and to step up and to lock arms with your Sisters and Brothers-in-Christ and to fight the good fight together!!!

Today I am challenging myself to become the warrior for Christ that I am called ot become and to keep walking to claim the victory. Will you walk with me?.....

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Warrior Princess

It’s been awhile and I’ll try to explain. A few months ago I slipped, or was pushed or maybe I just jumped into this dark hole. I’m not really sure how I ended up there which is the scary part.

Try as I may, I just couldn’t pull myself out. Emotionally I was a wreak. I must admit at times I didn’t feel any hope. People would ask “are you alright” or “what’s wrong” and I just wanted to scream but the scream would get stuck in my throat. Thank God! I mean what would they have thought if I had started screaming?

If you have never been in that place, I hope you never are. If you have been then you know what I am talking about.

This past weekend Marc was at the Walk to Emmaus for 3 days. I do not like being home by myself so I spent lots of time in a Bible study I had started a few weeks ago. I shouldn’t be but I am so amazed at God’s timing. The words spoke to me BIG TIME. I didn’t sleep for 2 days because I just couldn’t put it down.

So what did I learn…I learned that even though I had given up on myself, God hadn’t given up on me. I was just one brave decision away from an important turn in the path I was on. God showed me I had to take responsibility and just taking responsibility was not enough but I had to take hold of the reins and get prepared physically too.

I must admit, I am fearful that I will fail again for the 100th time and of the hard work that becoming healthy takes. Sometimes I think that it will kill me but then again, it occurs to me that to stand by and do nothing is to be dead already…..”as painful as the process may be, that which shatters our superficiality also shatters the fetters of our fragility and frees us to walk with dignity and might to our destinies. We are not the fragile flowers we’ve considered ourselves to be. We, like Esther, are the Warrior Princess’s of God.”

I love that I am a Warrior Princess of God… it, love it, love it

Keep Walking with Jesus

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Bread of Life

Walking with Jesus: To the Synagogue to Teach
Luke 13:20-21: Jesus teaches the Parable of the Leaven

In these verses the Kingdom of God is described as yeast that penetrates the dough. It talks about how a small amount of leaven will affect a whole mass of dough. This parable wants us to realize the power and influence a "small" amount has.

So the question is, how can I apply this application to my life? I was reminded about the time a few months ago when I received a "starter dough" with a recipe from a friend. Each day I had a task to do to the dough. Some days the recipe instructed me to "knead" it. Other days I had to "feed" it. But each day for 10 days I had something I had to do with the dough so that the leaven would continue to grow and not die. At the end of the 10 days, I had 3 "starter bags" of dough to give away, one to keep to start the whole process over again and one that I could bake into yummy sweet bread.

So what does this story have to do with the verses for today. I believe this is what these verses are saying to me. That for the "leaven" to be active in my life each day I must do the following:
1. Each day I must keep my eyes fixed on Jesus;
2. Each day I must despise the things of this world;
3. Each day I must remain in God's word;
4. Each day I must look forward to Christ's return but continue His work while I wait;
5. Each day I must continually listen to and for the voice of the Holy Spirit;
6. Each day I must be willing to suffer for the cause;
7. Each day I must fight against evil;
8. Each day I must defend the gospel;
9. Each day I must put on the full armor of God;
10. Each day I must "give away" Christ's love to other so that it can grow in their lives. And someday I will be able to be in the presence of The Bread of Life. Until then, I will keep Walking toward the goal my Savior has for me.....

Friday, December 12, 2008

Standing Firm

Walking wit Jesus: To the Mount of Olives
Mark 13:11 Jesus teaches about the Holy Spirit

11 Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.... 13 All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Verse 13 tells us to stand firm to the end. Perseverance in the faith and endurance in our loyalty to Christ is a scriptural definition of the kind of faith necessary for final salvation.

Standing firm takes perseverance when this world is beating you down. It is so easy when that is happening just to curl up and wish the world would go away. But that gets me in trouble because that is when I tend to eat for comfort, not exercise and to put another layer of bricks on the walls around me. It is truly a vicious cycle. Trying to change and to tear down these walls is such hard work but again my Heavenly Father is asking this of me and He didn't say it would be easy. He just keeps saying "Trust me my child, trust Me"....

A special friend shared this with me and I loved it. You know the song "Jesus loves me this I know"? Well she saw a sign that said..."Jesus knows me this I love". Is that not cool. Say it again "JESUS KNOWS ME THIS I LOVE".

I am praying that that saying will be my comfort today and what I put into my month will just be what I need to sustain me and no more as I keep taking these tiny tiny steps forward......

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Square Peg in a Round World

Walking with Jesus: To Capernaum
Mark 9: 49-50: The Value of Salt

49 "Everyone's going through a refining fire sooner or later, 50 but you'll be well-preserved, protected from the eternal flames. Be preservatives yourselves. Preserve the peace."

Luke 14:34 says, "Salt is good, but if salt has lost its tastes, how can its saltiness be restored?"

In the notes of one of my Study Bibles this is what it says...As salt is valuable to give flavor and to preserve from corruption, believers and the church must be godly examples in the world and must resist the moral decay and corruption evident in society. (1) Churches that become lukewarm, quench the power of the Holy Spirit and cease to resist the prevailing spirit in the world will be "thrown out" by God (2) They consequently will be "tramped by men"; those who are lukewarm will be destroyed by the ways and values of an ungodly society....

Yesterday was not a good day for me. I felt "tramped by men". My heart was broken. I could have so easily "trampled" back but God answered the prayer of a desperate woman to show Christ love to them. If I would have done what I "felt" like doing, I would have quench the power of the Holy Spirit and my Christian example would have been much less than "lukewarm". Today is a new day. It is my chose on how to live it. Am I going to give in the worldly ways or am I going to continue to be a "square peg in a round world"?

Father, give me a tender heart today. Let me do loving things that surprise even myself. Let me stop daily to talk to people who need a good word. Let me mend what is broken and to touch what needs to be loved. Make me more aware of the tiny surprises that are scattered like secrets all around me. Let me notice such things as I have forgotten, and those persons of whom I have grown weary with. May I see them in a new way so that I have a new word for them. As I busily set out to do the large tasks, my I find more time for small celebrations. Jesus, give me the grace to live out each day as though it were a gift. Holy Spirit, surprise me often. Then let me show my great surprise as I keep walking.....

“Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.” Psalm 61:1-4 (NIV)